Did you roll your eyes when you read the title of this post? Sometimes I roll my eyes when I see people using this phrase on Instagram, and you can tell it’s not really coming from their heart, it’s just part of an image they’re trying to curate online. More times than not, those girls hashtagging this up have an exclusive group and only want to interact with people that they can tell are fan-girling and/or have a decent following.
We all have a secret skill, and mine is seeing through people’s facades. This can make it hard for people that can’t be real with me to become my friend. To me, when you build a facade, you are building a lie, and I don’t want to be friends with a liar. What’s the point? If your friend can’t be their real self with you, then you can’t have a real relationship, which to me is a waste of time.
What does all this have to do with “community over competition”? Well, if you’re building facades, you’re not having faith in your community to accept you for who you are. Your facade is also something you’ve built to make your life seem better than it is, this means your using your facade to compete with those you think have “it” better than you.
I love social media, but these unreal views that people create promotes more competition. I’m not saying that this is all social media does, though!
Twitter is my favorite social media outlet. I’ve made so many friends, learned a lot, collaborated with people, and have helped people in return. I’m slowly building a similar community on Periscope. These two places seem more real to me than Instagram. I love my Twitter community. There’s no drama in my Twitter community.
I’m also in some Facebook groups, and in most of them there’s a lot of drama (sadly a lot of the planner groups can be like that). That said, I LOVE the Louis Vuitton planner group I’m in. Some people think less of people that buy “luxury” goods, but this group is so full of positivity! Yes, we all have LV planners, but the inserts range in “price” from homemade to high-end, and no one judges anyone’s inserts. No on makes fun of someone when they have a DIY insert that is not super sleek. We’re all just cheering everyone on and sharing how we made them, or where we bought them (often off Etsy). It’s a great group to be a part of.
Sometimes I feel stupid for not understanding why anyone would ever choose to not be supportive of their friends or strangers on the internet. If your friend got a raise and is making more than you, celebrate her! Don’t try to knock her down. If your friend has more followers on social media, don’t be jealous, ask her for advice. If your friend’s business is booming, ask her to share steps she took to boost sales. Unless you two are making the exact same product, she is not your competition.
There are a lot of business coaches out there, many teach people how to become coaches themselves, they know there is room for everyone. I’m in several licensing groups on FB as well, and we all help each other out. We share resources, give feedback on art and contracts. I know I’ve mentioned before that I’ve helped some friends that are complete competition for me, they have a similar style and target demographic, but I’ve helped them anyway, and I will continue to help them any time they ask. The mark I want to leave on this world is of being helpful, that’s more important to me than fame or fortune.
I’m a believer that what you put out comes back to you. That’s not what motivates me to help people, but I’ve seen where selfish people have “paid the price” in their lives. You can’t fake your karma, either, your good actions have to come from the heart. I was recently jealous of someone. It lasted less than 24 hours, and then I decided to get over it, and go back to my normal helpful self. After I made that choice I felt so much better and was no longer wasting time thinking about that person in a negative way. We’re all going to feel jealous from time to time, the trick is to move past it, and keep putting out positivity into the world.
Isn’t there enough bad out there? We have the choice to help people out. If you’re one of the “good guys”, you’re out there raising everyone up and being supportive, try taking it a step further. When your friend or co-worker (you know the one, the one that lives for gossip and tearing others down) starts in, try calling them out (in a positive way). If this person is too difficult, any time they try to bring their negativity around just change the subject. That way you’re squashing the negativity. Every day we get to make a choice on the impression we want to make in this world. We own that choice. Maybe bad things keep happening to you, and you’re feeling angry and like you’ve been dealt a crappy hand. Last year was a very bad year for me, but I didn’t let all the crappy days change what I put out there. When someone is a jerk to you, you can control whether or not you take it out on the next person.
So what’s this “Motivation Monday” about? It’s about motivating you to constantly make the choice to help your community, and spread the energy to get others to do the same. For some this will come easy, for others this will be changing their habits. If you think it will be hard for you, have a buddy help you out. Together we can do so much.